Mother bans grandparents from changing their grandchild’s diaper
In recent years, the idea of consent parenting has gained a lot of traction.
The concept is fairly simple. Caretakers teach children the importance of boundaries from a young age. While many praise the idea, some believe it’s over the top.
In 2022, a mother took to Mumsnet, a forum for parents, and asked if she was being unreasonable for banning her mother-in-law from changing her newborn’s diaper.
Her reason and the other parents’ responses are below!
The mother, who went by Mum070322 on the forum, called upon her fellow parents for help after a situation she encountered with her mother-in-law.
“I’m very keen on consent and protecting my baby’s privacy and prefer that only myself and my partner are the ones to change [my son’s] nappy,” she wrote.
However, she added a daycare worker or someone who is babysitting is allowed to change their diaper.
“A while ago my MIL was over and my baby started crying and rather than just give him back decided to take it upon herself to change him (I was standing right there) he continued crying throughout the change and she gave him back straight after but it annoyed me as it wasn’t her place to change him.”
At the time her child was 4 months old, and she was “trying to be nice and friendly” by not saying anything, but she wrote that recently her mother-in-law has been “more overbearing” and she wants to draw a line.
“Am I being unreasonable?”
Of the nearly 3,000 votes, 95% voted that yes she was being difficult.
And many of the comments weren’t on her side either.
“It’s good to be aware but you do sound paranoid. They are related and you were right there watching. Did something happen to you as a child? If so, maybe you need therapy to talk through things. Or maybe you could have said, it’s OK I can do that or something.”
“I really don’t understand why you feel the way you do. But it does seem like you have your own underlining problem. If you can’t trust immediate family to change a nappy then, well, your child is going to grow up with you literally obsessing over ‘privacy’ for them.”
“So nursery workers or babysitters can change your child but their grandparent can’t? I suspect this is more about your feelings towards your MIL than anything to do with privacy and consent (consent being a ridiculous concept for a small baby who has no capacity to give informed consent at that age).”
There was at least one person who supported the concerned mother.
“As you have said, this isn’t anything to do with you trusting her, it is your preference which you are completely entitled to. Some mums are more sensitive about these type of things than others and you know what, that is completely ok! You feel how you feel and you shouldn’t need the validation of others. The thing you should have done however was to step in and not let her do it. You could have politely said, ‘thank you, but I would prefer to change him’ and that should have been that.”
What do you think? Is she being unreasonable? Let us know your thoughts and share them with us on Facebook.
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